10mscrazies.weebly.com

I was very nostalgic today. I saw the site that we created (curiosity? here it is, 10mscrazies.weebly.com); so many hopes were with us, expectations of creating a twin tower out of the site...and now its all but anything. Surely we lost. When i look back, i remember the passion that was within us, every second of it wasted in building and modifying the site...but now just dust. Those who were with me in creating the site, will definitely feel this, will definitely be nostalgic about it.

I remember xabp, and the wildest thoughts that he carried and shared with me. I should say, it lifted my heart and i would immediately imagine myself in a different context. Well, i miss it. I regret it.  

I dont want to write more..
I was there.
It was brilliant.
I lost it.

Serendipity..??

With a new hope, and a new beauty, around me. I stole it. Yeah. I did..But wait, there's still more and a long way to go. You see, i am diving back into the self-pitiful work of a researcher. Researcher. Eh, high hopes, i guess. But, the work is too too white and heart-thumping. Regulons of a whole new molecular basis of microscopic systems. Silencing of genes, in a very whole new way.

I recently came across an article that cites one of my most curiously studied subject. Prediction of genes using fourier analysis. That was cool. The aim is too use the periodicity of three base pairs which codes an amino acid. And then use fourier analysis to examine its periodicity and then develop tools to recognise the coding regions. This was another interesting thing i came across in this span of fifteen days.

This was all a new world around me. The conference. And the motivation. All at one go. This was way too much for me to gulp all those brilliant ubiquitous research. Research! The word and the world of it, has a whole new dimension. I never knew, research is done in such an extensive ways outside, people drooling and drowning themselves over it. One of those yearly author of at least one article (almost..there) of Nature, said he wanted to carry on for another twenty more years. Huh! That was one blow for me. He is almost retiring and he still wants to continue for another twenty more years. How can he think like this? It is against the laws of aging and nature. He can't and he shouldn't even think about it. He is a disgrace to nature..isn't he? or is it, me? Whatever..but how much does he think he will do? How much?
 Here, i am sitting lazily, surmising of those mesmerizing moments of my childhood.......shit! All that went like a bullet...


Small ribonucleic acids, interfering at every possible way it can. There, you stand up and touch the temperature of 42 degrees and with a minute scale evolution, ribonucliec acids zoom you stable. This is a whole new world of it. Another thirty decades will go for its dedicating to our mortal body.

I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
But i know i have to.

To her Majesty.......!!!

 Oh! What brings me!

To a place, where my blood can’t be?

Unpleased and Betrayed

She gave me a look, she got me swayed!

Oh! I am a lie,

Trapped in my thoughts, ungracefully

Beneath this moonlit sky

Like I am a child, trembling ruefully...

Oh! Her deceptive stare,

And so I fell, for this forgotten snare...

Silence, is all is here,

But i am a lie, so am i wretched dear?

Oh! This dreary drink,

Saddens the wind around me,

And her flirtuous wink,

Spills my dull wine, all around the sea.

Oh! This lifeless life,

Blinded by you, blinded by this knife,

The stars are yet so bright,

Can’t you see that it’s me they chide?

Oh! This rueful roses,

Smells then of my beautiful past,

But she still dozes,

As her flattery had me for this last!!

The poison in my blood....!

October 8^th 2011,

Do you breathe the name of your life,

In the hour of need?

This is what you call “avoidance to the last breath…” Avoided, Ignored, shattered.

“..yes, feed the rain,

I am thirsty for your love….,

….Its nothing but the carnival of rust!”

The wind fluttering and whispering its worth beside me, and perhaps I should fall for its truth. Yes, I need you, I need you, desperately, beside me. Home, again, and the reign of insult of my self-esteem, self-confidence, inflicted arrows of blood with words as beautiful as ‘a bodyguard of girls’, begun, with painstaking pain.

“Don’t walk away, Don’t walk away….”

Enigmatic red circles, embedded beside the white ones… I still remember the words you yelled at me…I am true to you, I never grassed on you, never. I am true, scintillating with blood of my veins, cut deep inside me, far deeper than you would ever understand. I remember. I do. That you don’t give a “damn about me in front of your…” and neither I come anywhere near you of your “true life…”

“…and I will use my lips to kiss,

Your frown away…..

…and I  will follow you all the way…   “

Spiralling inwards, the dots of truth, the bloodline of the sky, the deep blue sky. I can never, ever, follow my zenith, and I know, I will be spiralled inwards in this beautiful enigmatic heartbeat. There will be at times this wind to guide me, to sway me to another fathomless breath, another speckled life…and must I say, that I will be drowned away by this addiction of a beautiful life, a beautiful dream….mary jane, mary jane….save me!

“ All my love, if its all I can do….

I will take the fall for you….”

Beaten, mocked and stained deep inside this thumping chamber... Seconds are enough, enough to shoot you with bullets, you won’t get a second to look, to cut yourself, deep. Time and again, thousands of sunlight strike at a second…but I still bleed, red…

“Now that you’re gone….

Hold me in your eyes……”

Look up! The sparkling smile of thousands of dots above you…most of them already died, painful existence! Shit! But then, I have wings and I now can fly, beyond your own imagination… contrastingly I was crippled, heavy, insane, to follow all the way, beyond this small little bridge…

I breathe this heavy black atmosphere, making tons of spiralling circles together, all black, but too beautiful…this is nice…too let your tears die away slowly with time, imminently. Oh! I am shot! Shot in the head….mary jane, I have you..!

“..When violet eyes get brighter,

And heavy winds go lighter…

..I will taste the sky and feel alive again…”

I pierced myself. Tasted its looming shadow, poisoning myself with this invaluable red blood roses…I fetched it for you…baby…I fetched it for you…And I really pierced myself!

Thanks to her...

There are certain people in this distracted world that sometimes make you feel that whatever you are are just because they are with you. Well, what do i think of those people as such? You can't tell. They realize and very well know that your very existence is because they have played one emotional acting in your frustrated life and pulled you right from behind. Thats true, but then you are happy too. But then, well, what am i exactly complaining? Look, here i tell you what i feel.

They appear, appearance is the one camouflage that they will use, (rightly saying, i don't know whether it's in their genes) to fly you away with their words. Sweet Revenge. Darn, you will get swayed. Yes you will. You get startled, bowled over, smoked and you will be like thinking over and over again, "what's wrong with you?"

Their right comes first. That's true always. We are nonentities in this physical world for them, speckled with dust and stain of our past. We are anti-particles for them, our laws defined and bounded like a closed set, with a finite radius even the boundary conditions and points are not well defined. It's like our feelings are closed of a set Z>=1 . What the ............??

We are what they call male chauvinists. Crap! This is what we get after a series of yes to their non-socializing questions, after yet another long debate and arguments about whose life revolves around this closed set and who is actually the boundary point. This is yet again ridiculous....

The Top floor..........

Now that my foot has settled down for sure, there are so many things going in and out of my mind. Well, not exactly my mind, whatever you want to call it, but then talking about mind, you seriously can't take it to be my brain, a complex of complexes of neurons that are too complex to study physically. Complex Analysis. This time we are going through a course of complex analysis, but wait a second, don't even give a second thought about it, coz its nothing related to my brain and mind. Complex Analysis cannot explicitly explain the complex of complexes.

Here i go, under this roof in JC Bose, the floor beneath the top floor (huh, its not the twin towers that once existed) Its sunny, its sweaty, its hot. And its humid. Though i am running my nose much too often, sigh its a relief! Serene, calm, as i looked outside. Not a single soul passed by my sight. The sight is perfect. Lush green grass, reflecting the green rays of the sun! I am at a perfect position to view this beautiful enigmatic picture. Silence. I wonder, with this little wind that is blowing, how much of my body weight would be reduced and deflected the moment i push myself from this floor. Bloody hell, that would be fun, though. The wind cutting through your ears, brushing your hair across. Oh, well!

Take a bow,

Dust.......!!!

Its more than what i thought it would be. Mr. Xabp, if by any chance you are reading it, life has changed drastically out here, after you left. Your theories and then modified innovative ideas of us, well, they are smoked into a pile of dust (your roomies were the first to do that, by the way), none the less, there is nobody to push up the system-of-ideas. Just one word. Gone.GONE.
Pathetic. I am tuned into myself these days. Shortly there is this idea that i will share.....

So thanks anyway,

Take a bow.....