Vile Thoughts...!

Here i go again, drunk in my own self-destructing memories. Damn, this things doesn't go at all. Memories! Darn, they are too exhausting even to let it go. Pain is better than these vile memories. Silent it is, in it, yet so destructive.
Oh!  i wish i were so invisible, atleast to her. I just wish i never had listened to Vanilla Twilight and get drunk in my own self-replicating thoughts.

I fall from this high hopes of my own life when these memories cross me everytime the sky cries, so silently! I love it when this pain hits me; hits me like an invisible bullet, brushes me inside out, tears are just a silent pay for my misled thoughts. How do i control the vaccum of thoughts, entirely of her?? How do i let the song to stop echoing?? How do i control my excruciating yell?
The wind is so silent beside me, ruflling around my ears whispering the lie that i always thought to be so true. I was and so were my feelings! Perhaps, somewhere i went wrong. And this darn do imaginations are costing me a lot.
Why did i again thought that the world will appear flat to me? Why did i ever had the slightest of thoughts that it was true? Huh, i am too drunk these days in her thoughts.
I lie awake in the Hut, just like the moon, reflecting its painful colour, yet no one but me to appreciate the beauty it reflects. Sigh! I am not talking sense perhaps. The wind still keeps blowing, echoing the presence and songs of her. MAN! What do i do?   
I walk this lonely road, but this time only the wind whispering the pain i feel!
But then, i love it!

12:30 am
The Hut
16th July

The Truth...!

Alive but not living, Dead but not departed!



Darn! its those beautiful evenings with a light drizzle again that you would wish too pass soon. Yet i find it so majestically beautiful. I am listening to Vanilla Twilight, and well, broken fragile thoughts knock your heart out, unforgiving and yet so colossal.

Every day, i am trying to forget a little more about her. Yes i do. Its exhausting and yet so compelling. The very existence of mine gets diminished a little more. I really don't know whats happening. Profoundly deep it is, within my soul and singing with a lie. The very unconventional lie that surrounds every human being! What exactly does relationship tell? The interactions are mostly a lie, not profound for most. And here i am, sucked up beside this slight drizzle,  dreary thoughts about her that were so contrary. I perhaps was misled by myself. I was so wrong!
It has no meaning, like an empty vessel, that keeps echoing her presence.
It grasps you from inside, and i am trying to run far away from this hard truth......

Its better to stop believing in love..
Darn..

God Abhors naked Singularities.....!!!

Restricted....this is gonna go worse...!!!

Naked. The very word makes us yell or gape in excitement (for some), and adrenaline and testosterone gets charged.....and of course not to forget, for the least...what the f?? But its true, we have been made in such a way that our culture or our tradition has itself deep-rooted our minds with the fact that dancing and running around naked is abhorred. Whoa what if...? Well, i wont comment.... though Its the famous Stephen Hawking line......

Now, ahem... let me start. Singularities. Well, or singularity is the point of breakdown of physics laws where matter gets destroyed and collapse to the point of just a dot, like the dot in "i". Black holes, we all know, can't be seen, coz of course, light gets red-shifted more and more before they reach us and it takes infinite time to reach an observer just situated outside the Event Horizon. But once you're inside you will be sucked up pretty big time. Now for an observer just outside the event horizon, life would practically normal.
Naked Singularities doesnt have an event horizon. That means if there ever is anything like a naked singularity, we will observe it NAKED! But well, GOD, you have to believe in it. And much to our surprise, there has still a debate over this Naked singularity and well as of now, nothing of such is seen. There you go! We are just not allowed to see something naked! Physicists say, its because the breakdown of every single laws of physics!! So we are like forbidden, but yes the The Loop Quantum Gravity do suggest there should exist a Naked Singularity! This naked singularity as of many scientists had suugested can be A Worm Hole. Whoa! A Bloody Worm Hole! You fall into it and maybe space-time travel can lead you to your past, but future is what the worm holes are thought to lead to!! Amazing ainn't it? The space-time gets curved so much that this singularity can actually lead you to beyond your reality! Well, this is what researchers say not me..!!

Now, the main thing! You see, science, tradition, and The higher power, seems to me like one unified something! For the singularity, the event horizon is like its bloody godforsaken clothes! We are just not allowed to have a peep! There you go again! See. If you peep! You're gone! wtf? That's true! You give a "peep" to someone you fancy and it's just abhorred!! Punishments, like real bloody  punishments follows! This is just deep rooted in our every nerve and blood! That's how we are made!

God does abhors naked singularities! That's true....Even if you are so lucky enough to see it, you actually have to give your life doing that! Weird, that it happens in our regular life! Naked singularities are truly exciting and it does turns your testosterone up to high levels! This is same with human mind! Everything is this world are inn relationship with the other in some way or the other.

But that then, let me tell you, that this is not a stupid rhetoric...ahem! \:P/

Rennaiscence at home once agan....!!!

10:25 PM
JC Bose Library
Temperature 20 degree Celsius ( thanks to the AC)

Can't be much happier. Back at home, and back is my freedom. Freedom can be anything. Like spanking my roomie's ass as hard as i want. just a prick of joke. No Offence! But i m beyond my own bliss to know what i am writing and to take any offence from someone who reads this piece of shit!! Well, half of my classmate's are out here, doing what we call scientific projects. But to be frank and to be righteous, we and many of my friends hardly know there exact topic or their exact title!! Funny, right?

I met Naman and we laughed our ass off when we both idiots started talking about Aishwarya....well, i wont exactly divulge now what exactly i mean by that! But still, it was hell nice to see most of our friends out here.

Precisely, i would like to tell that, now atleast i can shout my throat off, i can sleep till evening, and who cares!!

But what in your view can be actually  be the fact that i am back  for good and yet you think that i have gone crazy?? No way!!

The Viento

Death with Despair!

Heart-gasping sound of eternity,
Deep breathing within me!
Stumbled upon, blood darkness,
I closed my eyes, in her lie livid beauty...

A big fabricated Lie........

Johanan, high five. You struck me this time. I coundn’t care less. He was true. “We live in a tomb of a big fabricated lie.” Instances :

1)      There the other day, I was watching the Wimbledon  semi-final match between Jo Wilfred Tsonga and Novak Djokovic. The match was a thriller as it has always been. There were people, whom we call audience by the principle, clapping at each and every point and the weird thing was that they were clapping for both. It was not like that they supported one single person.

 I was a stern supporter of Novak Djokovic and I bit my lips every time Tsonga won a point. This is crucial in life, to be focussed towards one single thing, and here I was. But look what I got there. SARCASM. The people were clapping and lauding the both players! Weird, isn’t it? So they seem to be goaless people?? Is that so?? Or were they just enjoying the game; like you see, Novak and Tsonga were their entertainer. They were entertainer. Entertainer doesn’t mean they were jokers or singers. Just entertainer. Coz people were enjoying the game, like they enjoy watching a comedy movie, take it to be a circus!

2)      Now look at this point from a different view. People paid big bucks to see the Wimbledon semi-final, and to get enjoyment, like you can call this ENTERTAINMENT. Didn’t they? And poor Djokovic and Tsonga battled their sweat out, struggling with strength and struggling with every bit of sunlight that attacked them. They toiled hard, and among the two only the one who was winning was enjoying the game. OF course that had to be, coz you never want to be the losing side, and you would always wish  after losing the game to turn back the time, to kick your opponent’s butt out! Someone or the other has to pay the price. Tsonga’s hard toil, running from one end to the other turned futile! And look here, while Tsonga was toiling hard and had to give up at the last moment, the audience were laughing and getting entertained, right? They were enjoying every bit of it, right? But they didn’t do anything, like stopping the game, or atleast, sympathising with Tsonga? ?

3)      Now take a clue, for me, suppose, entertainment is like watching somebody fighting over something. So I would just sit there and watch, right? Coz, I love enjoying seeing a fight! And that’s entertainment for me. So I was going by the road, when I saw three goons fighting a man. I stopped and watched. I had a knife and a gun with me. But I didn’t do anything. The goons kicked him, like we see in movies, but there I was sitting and watching like a silent spectator, like the ABOVE AUDIENCE. That’s entertainment for me, why give up? At the end somebody has to lose, just like Tsonga lost to Djokovic and was heartbroken. Same here, the man was heartbroken as his purse was stolen. But there I was silently watching.

4)      Now you may argue, that that’s not right. That what I did was totally wrong! But how do you know? Maybe the goons needed money for something worth stealing? You may never know? And by the way, who taught you what is right and what is wrong? How do you know which is right and which is wrong? You can’t judge anything by your own conscience, let alone you parents. Coz, there are billions like me who will counter you, the same way  I did. IF what I did was wrong, as the man struggled with the goons, then so was the Wimbledon audience. They were also wrong. They didn’t help Tsonga win, or atleast sympathised with him. SO then what was all this? This was all a lie. The audience was a lie, they were nothing but living a lie, criticizing the loser and comforting the winner, just as I did in a way. They were all watching something which  I call wrong and the same way you can yell at me that I was wrong. So you and I are both living a lie. Neither of us know, what exactly we should do. We keep living our lives just as we are taught to. It’s just like wearing a pink t-shirt which I hate, yet I confess that, it’s good. THAT’S  utter bullshit lie, right? Ain’t it?

5)      Johanan was right, we all are in a fabricated lie. What we do, our actions, are itself a lie. For me, your actions are unexplainably lies, just as this blog to you may seem.

 

 

Where are we?

This is sad. Got a mail from Abhinandan. He mailed me the link to iiser pune blog. See if you want to. But i would advice, you will get depressed! trust me, you better dont peep!! Still if you can't resist to see the off-beat   blog page, then here you go: iiserpune.wordpress.com/blog-page/.
Well, IISER Pune is well ahead of us. Their blog page saddened me; put me in my humps. Whoa! Their profs even blog there! They have a basketball court, a proper maintained new hostel. Both iiser kol and iiser pune were established at the same time, inn'it?? But How are we lagging behind? How is it possible, that we are still lingering and still  in a to-be-kicked-out situation in this bckv campus?? You see, they have what you call a proper football tournament! Like a proper football tournament, guys!! Not like what we have out here! A small football field with a small no. of players with again a small support! This is poignant and depressing. Utterly heart-rending.

We have the highest paid profs, we have the largest campus among all  the fives....still we are so pathetic!!
We all are, especially, the high profile ones are bogus! Abhinandan, could be much happier thus with our blog. Representing oneself is what and how the world cares the damn about you. Fake. We are. I am no more happy with our blog,
Did you ever catch a glimpse of our Director during Inquivesta?? Where the hell was he?? He couldn't care less about it? With Inquivesta being a success,  it was only due to the toil of the students;  the teachers and profs dont even come close to that. Pathetic. Pune has got itself an annual magazine, Kalpa! And amazingly, let me assure you, yet again, you will  be DEMORALIZED. Disgusting. These are just a few instances. We are like far behind....crawling like an ant contrarily they are hopping like the grasshopper.....hmph!